Trip to Ely

Off to Ely this morning with high hopes of a trip round the antique shop followed by tea and cakes at the lovely tea rooms near the river.

Thwarted by a large quantity of plastic! You know, the boat-shaped plastic inhabited by overweight to clinically obese men of late-middle-age: the ones who insist on releasing their porcine bellies on an unsuspecting and totally innocent public by not wearing their shirts; the same ones whose flabby, White & Stilton-Blue varicosed legs are similarly displayed by a very ill-advised insistence on the wearing of shorts.

Gentlemen, much as The Mighty Pippin respects your in-alienable right to sit on public moorings all day, sneering through the bottom of your gin and tonic glasses at steel boats trying to find somewhere, anywhere, to moor up for an hour having pumped out, can we say, loudly, please, please, please, COVER IT UP AND PUT IT AWAY!!!!!

If only for the sake of the children........