Tuesday, 19 November 2013

In a perfect world......

....... I would be reclining in a deck chair on the camomile lawn of my rose garden contemplating the buzzing of insects and delightful bird-song.

 A large gin and tonic, or other revivifying beverage, would be at my elbow.

"Et," (as the French would say, if they spoke as I do, 'comme un Russe'), "tout dans le jardin etait beau........"

Cue sound effect of idyllic birdsong soundtrack scratching as needle and tone arm are swiped across record.

In the real world, we have just journeyed to Ely and had our boiler and central heating system purged of the black scunge that has knackered the bearings of the last two central heating pumps.

We have also pumped out the septic tank and gave fixing the Vacuflush 5000 the Old College Try.

(We failed, but are not downhearted: the pump has seized on.

This means any flushing activities are controlled by galloping up and down the boat 'twixt loo and circuit breaker board.

It's only really a problem if you try it with your trousers round your ankles............)

Also, on our way back home, we noticed the navigation lights aren't working.

And China has just bought in and released a fully operational mouse, which has now scarpered into the distant recesses behind the sofa.

I spent today doing wood, water and diesel chores, then sloped off for a bit of Alvis engine fettling.

I managed to remove the crankshaft, but failed to get the camshaft.

(Yes, I have tried to eschew the seemingly limitless possibilities of hilarious blogpost waggery that devolves around titles like "The Cam's Shafted."

-Or anything similar to do with "Cranks", for that matter-.

But look, try finding a vacant Visitor Mooring in Cambridge at the moment.......... thanks to The Continuous Moorer Fraternity, you'll laugh until you stop .....

And neither Cambridge Council nor The Cam Conservancy seem bothered.........

But I digress...........)

Yes, A Perfect World may be filled with birdsong and rose gardens.

The Real World is full.

Full of full poo tanks, broken toilets, knackered engines and flippin' idiots.

Oh, and the soul-soothing compensation that is a very real Large Gin and Tonic........

Thank goodness for that.



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