A quick bargain bog blog.......

Okay, okay, that's probably the naffest title for a post this year.

But hey, there's still three months to go!!

Anyway, to business, as it were......(oh blimey, how deeply mired in 'Carry On' style innuendo am I going to get? Good Grief!!)

Ahem....

Our friend Rhoda on wb Hullabaloo is selling her brand new never been out of its box composting toilet.

'Why?', you may well ask..

Well, Rhoda used to live on The Great Ouse. Sea toilets (and the liquid effluent from composting toilets for that matter) are de rigeur down there.

(I am bursting to deploy some devastating witticism featuring the expression 'Shit Creek' at this point, but shall refrain out of deference to my readers in Cheltenham, Bournemouth, Newbury and Tunbridge Wells......)

Sea toilets et al are prohibited on our stretch of The River Cam, (unless, of course, you are a Cambridge based disco boat, or, indeed, the operator of a hire cruiser fleet based in Ely. Allegedly.)

So poor Rhoda can't fit the composter without contravening The Conservancy bye-laws. Thus it must be sold.

It's currently on Apollo Duck in the chandlery section with lots of pictures of its' pristine and unsullied condition plus Rhoda's description etc. She can be contacted through Apollo Duck in the usual way if you are interested in availing yourself of a bargain.....

The First Law of Conversational Mechanics.....

I think it's a well known fact that when two or more boaters are gathered together, the conversation shall turn to either toilets, electrics, or both, within a given amount of time.

Now, my background in The Arts ill equips me for a serious attempt at a mathematical expression of this, but as is well known, that's never stopped me before, so here goes:

N = the number of boaters gathered together

T = time elapsed

Q = start of the conversation

X = the point in elapsed time when toilets/electrics/both become the sole topic of conversation

B.var. = the variable quantity of beer consumed

The equation is to show the observed shortening/lengthening of T between points Q to X in direct relation to the increase/decrease in the value of N

I throw in B.var. for good measure as it has been observed that:

T between points Q and X
decreases in inverse proportion to the increasing value of B.var

Come along then all you 'ologists, lets have a tidy little equation to wrap this up....

The prize is you get to have your name forever associated with it.

I'm now going for a lie down.......

Attention All Shipping!

Well, everyone on the Cam, Great Ouse, Middle Level and Nene.

A well known Cambridge narrowboat called Roe of Ely has recently been sold.

("Roe of Ely" is not a typo, by the way, unless her signwriter didn't like flowers or couldn't do esses very well......)

Today, The Pippins helped her new owner, Charley, and her lovely mum through Bottisham Lock.

It was their first proper go at setting a lock, and, what with the newness to boating, Roe's seventy odd feet of length, and it blowing a hoolie from the east....well, they were in a bit of a pickle......

We soon got them through safely and sent them onward toward Ely (and eventually The GU and London).

I think the most important bit of advice I managed to impart was "Don't Worry!! It's Only Paint".

If any of you see 'Roe' and Charley on their travels down to London, please give her a wave, as she seemed jolly nice.

Actually, I remember only too well the steep gradient of the learning curve when we took over wb Pippin......... so along with waving, please add some help, encouragement, support, advice and kindness as needed.

We all had to start somewhere.........

Contact!!!

Today I spoke to my old chum Martyn (used to be David...) Jones for the first time in over 22 years.

Blimey!

It was absolutely brilliant!

We talked for ages. Until my phone ran out of battery, to be precise.

I then rang him back and talked a whole lot more...

What his lovely wife Sian makes of it all is as yet unclear: (Yes , I spoke to her too. At length. Poor thing.....)

Just now, though, I sit writing this in the lovely warm saloon of The Mighty Pippin,
Jackie sipping a glass of rather nice wine on the comfy chair behind me, Thomas the cat outside persecuting mice (and annoyed with me for leaving him for too long bankside while I went to Cambridge to pump out......) and I think of old times, new times, and times yet to come.

Life can seem bad and horrible sometimes.

It is absolutely crucial to one's health and general welfare to treat such times, however long they seem to last, as the momentary abberations that they truly are.

A quick 'thankyou'..

....to Bill Rodgers for the info re:tempalias!

David has got in touch with me via this method so hopefully we'll be chatting soon, and without opening the floodgates on a veritable tidal wave of spam!

Actually, it's ironic that David caught up with me on the blogpost all about the perils of the internet.

That it is a powerful force for good is beyond doubt, but like all tools, it's benign or malign application depends solely on the mind behind the hands of the user.

Blast from the past!

Wow! I've just checked in to blogworld to see a message in the comments section of yesterday's post from my old friend and room mate from student days David Martyn Jones!!

How fabulous! The problem I now have is getting in touch with him without publishing personal details on this public forum.

Hmmmm.

Anyone out there got any bright ideas?

Meanwhile, David, if you're reading this, my old Bournemouth address is still works (if you still have it) as Mum and Dad haven't moved in the intervening 22 years since we last saw one another.

It's great to hear from you and I hope all is well. Please get in touch if you can or via the comments section if needs be!

Email Spam Virus Warning

Most of us have email, so pay attention at the back, this is important.

There is a computer virus doing the rounds presently which I think is particularly sneaky.

I opened an email purporting to be from my sister the other day. It was an advert for the usual load of discount "Medicines" which is usually dumped firmly in the spam box by our security software.

In opening it, I may well have granted the spammers access to my own email address book. It's possible everyone on it will now be getting an email purporting to be from me but actually a similar advert with 'Trojan Horse' attachments.

Damn.

I've emailed all my contacts to warn them. Hope I was in time......

The way to spot this is in the Subject Box of the incoming mail. If it is composed of apparently random letters and numbers, then its the virus.

Don't open it!!!

It might be worth us all keeping our eyes open for this for a while, as it's going to spread......