A positive spin on extraction.......

I'll bet that gets the anti-fracking brigade flocking to this blog.

Shame really, as this post has absolutely nothing to do with fracking..........

Nope.

But at least it'll get the numbers up.

(This is a good thing, as my worldwide audience had shrunk to a select 25 or so page views over the last twenty-four hours.

I reckon I'd get that if I left the computer on, let China walk over the key board, then posted the result..........

Of course, the real worry there is that none of you would notice..........)

Anyway.......

Today, I had an appointment at the dentist.

(Jackie always suggests I get the two-thirty appointment. I always point out that our dentist is South African, not Chinese, so the joke, such as it is, doesn't really work.....)

Yep, my toof had been hurtee since a week ago Sunday when an errant bit of dried fruit in the breakfast muesli caused the dreaded 'whoops, dearie, that was expensive' sensation in the mouth.

I thought I'd maybe dropped a filling in one of the back nine which has had a lot of work over the years.

My dentist was sad to relate that the poor old tooth had split from top to bottom, was beginning to show signs of infection, and the only remedy was the titular extraction.

So out it came, in lots of broken pieces, accompanied by a sound track that included your usual cartoon DIY noises, (drilling, sawing, hammer and chisel etc), and, at one point, what sounded like a fairly hefty dry wood branch being snapped in two.....

Of course, I was up to my ears in lignocaine at the time, so never felt so much as a twinge.

This happy state of affairs changed rapidly as the drugs wore off, however,,,,,,,,

I have spent the late morning, afternoon and early evening in the kind of pain you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy.

Paracetamol was the only analgesic on offer, as aspirin and non-steroidal anti-inflammatories like Ibuprofen inhibit platelet function . They are of no use if you are, or have been, bleeding.....

I have news for you. Paracetamol is okay for your ordinary-everyday-run-of-the-mill kind of pain, but doesn't even get close to touching the serious post-dental "ouch" that throbs white in your gums in time with your heartbeat.

Thankfully, it is on the ebb now, so I've got off the sofa, (where I have had a not terribly enjoyable or constructive time chiefly spent alternately whimpering and dribbling) and decided to share this with the world..........

(Well, "a problem shared is a problem halved", or more accurately, "you can't beat a good whinge"........ )

I was tempted at first to reprise the link to "Little Shop of Horrors" that I used a few posts back to illustrate exactly what kind of 'hole the American dentist Walter Palmer is for shooting that beautiful lion.

On reflection, I thought it a bit unfair on my dentist, who is a lovely chap who not only did a really good job, but also probably has qualms about swatting flies, never mind the senseless slaughter of magnificent creatures......

So we'll give that one a miss......

No, what I want to do is continue the theme of the previous couple of posts and see if we can pin the blame for my misfortunes today, (like the tail in the children's game), on the Donkey that the majority of the Great American Public have just voted in  as President.

Where's Alastair Campbell when you need him, eh?

The link between The Donald and my teeth starting to fall out may seem a little tenuous, but I'm sure it's there.

Suggestions on the usual electronic post card please.